Prepare for Labor: What I Wish I Knew Before Birth

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Every persons labor is going to be different, and you never know what your labor will be like until you're actually IN LABOR. Speaking from experience, I have had 3 labor and delivery experiences.... EVERY SINGLE ONE WAS DIFFERENT.

• My first was a post dates induction, with an epidural, that almost turned emergency C-section, that ended in pushing for 3 hours, vacuum, episiotomy and a 3 day stay in the NICU for my little guy (sounds scary, but it sounds worse than it was.)

• My second was a PROM. PROM is pre-labor rupture of membranes, which essentially means my water broke BEFORE my labor started. My labor eventually did start on it's own 8 hours later; I had a prolonged labor due to the position my baby was facing (OP), epidural, prolonged pushing stage (2.5 hours), and then finally delivered him on my own.

• My third was a classic labor. Contractions started, I coped at home until I was 8cm, went to the hospital, water broke during transition (10cm), and delivered a baby 20 minutes after getting to the hospital in a beautiful water birth with no medication at all (my redemption birth).

Like I said, every labor is different. Even for each person. I got to experience all different aspects of labor, which I am grateful for, however, I REALLY wish I would have prepared my mind and body for labor each time. I truly only put in the effort on my third pregnancy. Is that the reason that I had such an amazing birthing experience? Not necessarily, but it definitely made me feel more confident going in to labor than with my first 2 deliveries.

I love comparing labor to a marathon. Could you run a marathon without doing a single bit of training and still complete it? You definitely could. Would it be substantially easier if you had trained prior to that marathon? Absolutely. Same goes for labor. Unless you end up with a precipitous labor (which is just as intense as a prolonged labor), it is essentially like a marathon, and preparing your mind and body will definitely help in the long run.

So let's go over a few things that you can do to help you prepare for labor. You can start these things whenever, I personally started about half way through, but even if you're only a couple weeks away from your due date, it's never too late to start:

Create a Plan

Whether you want to create a full birthing plan, typed out, laminated, and signed (I love these, by the way) or you just want to think of a couple things that you want to happen during labor, coming up with some sort of a PLAN can really help to put your mind at ease when the day comes. Can plans be changed? YES.... but let's start with a baseline.

There are a TON of different templates available now-a-days that you can download and help guide you through the process of creating a birth plan (stay tuned for one from After 2 Pink Lines!). But just having an IDEA of what you want from your birth is a great place to start.

Biggest thing is pain control. What is your plan for pain? Because let's face it, labor is painful, and it is hard. Do you want to go without analgesics? Do you want some analgesics? Do you want an epidural? Water Birth? Nitrous? THERE ARE SO MANY OPTIONS!! I'll do another post on different pain relief options, both medicated and non-medicated. But for now, you have to decide what you want to TRY.

My personal opinion...... even if you are dead set on getting an epidural, it's still a good idea to prepare for the possibility that you might not get one.... I KNOW... I'M SORRY. But it is possible. Depending on your hospital, the anesthesiologist might be tied up and unable to give you your epidural for hours, your labor may go too fast, or your epidural simply just may not work. So EVEN IF you are like "no freaking way Bailey, I'M GETTING MY EPIDURAL!", I still suggest you try some of my next suggestions.

Music

Music can be such a calming thing for people, and can really help you get into a certain head space if you listen to it long enough. Almost like a hypnosis. I would say 90% of the time, when I have a patient in labor, the environment becomes substantially calmer when the lights are turned and there is peaceful music on in the background.

If you have a midwife, they may have a set playlist on their phone that they could play for you, or you could just "shuffle" through any random song while you're in labor if that's what you want. Personally, I think pre-planning a "Labor Playlist" is beneficial, especially if you have a specific genre of music that you like.

I created a playlist starting at around 20 weeks pregnant, and then continuously throughout my pregnancy, I would add others as I heard them. And then, I practiced; I would turn on that playlist while I was in the shower. I would turn the lights down and I would practice my breathing while listening to those songs. Even for just 5 minutes while in the shower. It became a routine for me. By the time I was well into my third trimester, whenever I heard those songs, my breathing would instantly slow. It helped me to relax and flow into labor beautifully.

You can create playlists on most music apps I believe, but I just used the free Spotify. Show your partner where the playlist is in your phone, or send it to them. Makes it a lot easier than trying to navigate when you're in labor.

HypnoBirthing

HypnoBirthing is a technique that individuals use while in labor to help decrease the fear and anxiety associated with labor. Releasing all fear and stress and "giving in" to the pain that is labor. It consists of self-hypnosis, visualization, deep breathing and relaxation techniques to help create a more calm and comfortable birthing experience. There are many books and courses on hypnobirthing, so you should be able to find SOMETHING that works! I've included a few options below:

I have heard great things about the book "HypnoBirthing: The Mongan Method" by Marie F. Mongan. I unfortunately was not able to get my hands on that particular book prior to my labor, so I can't speak to it. But I was recommended that book MULTIPLE times by friends and my Midwife that if I wanted to use HypnoBirthing for my labor, that reading that book would be beneficial.

Hypnobabies Academy is another option. They have many hypnobirthing course on their site for you to try. They are definitely on the pricier end, but they teach you all about different breathing, self-visualization, and relaxation techniques to help you in labor. If you're like me, and didn't want to spend a ton of money, but still wanted SOMETHING, there is an hour long audio track called "I Release My Fear of Childbirth Hypnosis Track" that you can buy. I personally purchased this and listened to it daily, and I feel like it helped me substantially to get in the right head space.

"Pain Free Birth" by Karen Welton is also another great resources. She has an instagram page as well as a website with different courses surrounding mindset and preparing for labor. I used one of her free courses and it was super interesting how I was able to trick my mind into decreasing the pain I was feeling! If you haven't heard of the Ice Cube method, you should check her out.

Positive Affirmations

The power of the mind people, I'm telling you, it can be huge. Lots of people will use positive affirmations and positive birth stories to help them feel confident and imagine what their "dream" labor can look like. Reading and listening to positive birth stories through books and podcasts, or simply just reading positive affirmations can help you get into that "YES I CAN" mindset and help you truly believe in your ability to have the labor you want.

"The Birth Hour" is a podcast all about birth stories. Any birth story you can think of: homebirth, waterbirth, VBAC, twin birth, induction birth etc. The creator of The Birth Hour is Bryn Huntpalmer. I listened to this podcast everyday while I was at work. I would pop in one of my headphones, and turn on a podcast and listen to positive birth stories every single day. Because I had 2 semi negative birth's the first time, it was super important for me to shift my mindset in a more positive light. I probably listened to hundreds of episodes before the birth of my third son. It is completely free to listen to on many podcast apps.

If you have looked into home birth, or midwives in any way shape or form, I'm sure you've heard of the book "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth". This book, as per the amazon description, "Based on the female-centered Midwifery Model of Care and drawing upon her decades of experience, Ina May Gaskin gives expectant mothers comprehensive information on everything from the all-important mind-body connection to how to give birth without technological intervention." It's an amazing book, with so much valuable information. I personally think every pregnant individual should read it.

The last thing is Positive Birth Affirmations. Some people believe in affirmations, and others don't, and that's ok. If this is something that you feel like could help you, then I say do it. I created actual visual cards with positive birth affirmations listed on them, so that I could hang them up in the labor room while I was in labor. Their purpose was to remind me that I was strong and capable of achieving the birth I had set out to have. Did my labor turn super intense really fast and cause me to completely forget about those wonderful affirmation cards? Yes. You know who remembered them? My Midwife and my beautiful nurse, who sat by my side, holding my arms, talking in my ear, reciting EVERY SINGLE ONE. Reminding me... And it was amazing.

If you made it to the end of this blog.... thank you. I know that was a long one. But I promise... YOU ARE SO CAPABLE OF DOING THIS. It doesn't matter if you want an epidural at 2cm, or to have the water birth of your dreams. Preparing even just a little bit for labor, will hopefully help you get that much more of a positive experience. Until next time!

-B